


Curiosity Killed The Cat

by HayamaRei



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: And that officer is Chris, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Humour, I tried okay?, Interrogation, LSPD Officer's POV, There's mavin if you squint, that goes as good as any attempt to interrogate the fahc goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 11:00:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8665048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HayamaRei/pseuds/HayamaRei
Summary: The Fake AH Crew is a big mystery. They always win and even though everyone knows they're criminals no one can ever get them. But being good at something also makes you careless. Makes you a tad too confident and you let things slip. Officer Chris Demarais from the LSPD pays the right amount of attention to pick up on them.





	

"Come on, we got a signal." Chris looked up from his workpad to see Aaron who was standing by his desk. 

He put the pad aside and stood up as well. "Who are we after?"

Aaron made a moment's pause and started walking as he replied. "It's them." 

Chris stopped in his tracks. "Can't... Someone else take it?" He asked carefully, trying not to sound desperate. 

Aaron stopped too and looked back at him. "Luna and Shawcross are already on their way but backup is needed. We don't know how bad it is. Are you scared?" He asked the last part with a teasing voice. 

"No-no! Just... They make me nervous!"He started walking and Aaron fell into step. "Last time we brought one of them in I found scratch marks on the cell walls. Made by actual nails. Do you know how hard scraping concrete this much is?"

Aaron laughed. "You're being paranoid. They're simply human, Chris. Smart, maybe, but human."

"I don't like the way they look at me." Chris shuddered. "It's like... Like they know stuff. Like they're just playing with us. And they are! Remember that time Narvaez and Free sang Grease in a perfect duet while separated by the soundproof interrogation room walls? Or how it took us 3 tries to figure out that Haywood actually does speak english? Or when Jones replied to every question with movie lines and everyone bought it until he delivered the punchline? Or when he spent that night hanging upside down from the bunkbed claiming he was actually the real Batman? Or-"

"Okay, okay, I get it. They're weird." Aaron cut him off when they reached the car. "They're doing it to throw us off, we shouldn't give in." 

Chris buckled in and waited for the car to be put in motion before speaking up again. "I don't know. There's something that doesn't add up with them."

He didn't mention his other thoughts. Uncertainty about how they ended up in custody at least once every two months but were always somehow able to slip out. Or how there were many theories but never enough evidence against them to actually prosecute them. How there was nothing about them in the systems from the time before they showed up in Los Santos. How the poice always seemed to be late to the robberies and killings that Geoff Ramsey and his crew were suspects of. There was much more to those guys than what everyone saw but there was no way to prove it. 

\--------

When they arrived at the spot Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross were already there. As well as Free, Jones, Haywood and Narvaez, as well as a short guy with bright green hair Chris hadn't seen before. They were all handcuffed and standing in a line by Luna and Shawcross' car. Jones was glaring daggers at Free who in turn looked sheepish but thankfully they didn't seem in arguing mood like that time Jones flipped a table to try and strangle his mate because of an argument between them. 

Haywood and Narvaez were murmuring something to each other in low voices and the green guy had a face eating grin spread on his lips. They were all held at gunpoint by the two police officers. 

"How did they manage to catch them on their own?" Chris asked before they got out of the car. 

"Maybe they surrendered? They don't seem to have guns."

"Maybe," Chris replied and didn't voice out his real thoughts. 

When they got out of the car Narvaez stopped talking and looked at them alongside everyone else. 

"Chris, my boy!" He grinned as if he was greeting an old friend and not a cop while being handcuffed and held at gunpoint. It made chills travel down Chris' spine but he didn't show it. 

Kerry lowered his gun, seemingly feeling more at ease doing so when there was more backup there. 

"What's going on?" Aaron asked. 

"Trespassing." Shawcross replied. "Someone saw them jumpimg the fence. We found them in that yard over there, digging up a hole. They surrendered when we came." 

The green guy stepped a bit forward at that. "My pet fish died. We were digging it a grave."

"That's not your property." Luna interjected. 

"That's ancient sacred ground, though and Pepsi's last wish was to be buried there." Green guy replied with a completely serious voice. Haywood snorted while Free and Narvaez nodded enthusiastically. Jones still looked ready to murder Free which was quite unsettling given how good his murder stare was. 

"Don't try to bullshit me Dooley." Luna warned and it was amazing how the usually cheerful guy could sound so intimidating if he wanted to. 

"Dooley noted." Came the immediate reply and this time Narvaez actually did laugh out loud. 

Chris felt like in the middle of a theatre scene. Except he was someone pulled from the audience and placed in the middle of the play with no script to follow. And the people around him played and he tried to keep up but they always had the upper hand because they knew how the play was supposed to continue. 

Aaron, too looked unsettled to an extent but he was good at hiding it. 

"Okay. You take two and we'll take three of them." Shawcross said when the little exchange was over. 

"Alright."Chris agreed immediately. He preferred to deal with less of them if possible. 

"Alright. Haywood, Dooley with me," Aaron said but was quickly interrupted by Free. 

"Yeah, 'scuse me, but I'd rather not be in the same car with Michael if possible? You see, he's a little upset with me right now-"

"Because you're a freaking moron, Gavin!" Jones suddenly shouted. 

Free turned to the other with a pout. "Come on Michael, I told you I was sorry." He whined.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! You almost got us killed!" 

"Yes but I also helped us not die and that should count. 'Sides it made it more interesting."

Jones' face showed that if he wasn't in handcuffs he'd probably try to punch Free. 

"Okay, we got it. Free you go with Dooley." Luna stopped them before the argument could grow. They all knew what happened in those situations. 

Free smiled and Dooley and him walked towards Chris and Aaron's car.

Chris wasn't going to say it out loud but he was glad they didn't get any of the others. In all honesty Haywood terrified him and Jones always made him feel on the edge. He wasn't sure what Narvaez's deal was but something about the way he simply sat, like he was completely comfortable with his surroundings, even in an interrogation room or a police car left a clenching feeling in Chris' stomach. 

Once they were set and parted Dooley leaned forward between the seats. "Can we play some music? I'm bored."

"Stay put." Aaron replied firmly and Dooley pouted. 

"It's kinda uncomfortable back here. You guys should really think about change of vehicles. I'm thinking plush seats."

"Silence." Aaron repeated. Dooley leaned back against his seat and continued pouting. 

A minute later Free was the one to lean closer. "Um, I hope you don't mind but these were kind of tight and it's very uncomfortable leaning on my hands so I took them off." He stretched his arm out to show the pair of handcuffs hanging from his fingers. "I'll put it back on before we arrive."

Chris just gaped for a second and then reached for his gun. "Don't move!"

Free raised his hands. "No need for extremities. I'm not gonna try anything." 

Chris however kept his gun pointed. "Don't move."

"You were right." Dooley said. "They are very rude in here."

Free nodded but otherwise didn't move. "I know. Bet you the others aren't treated this badly. Officer Kerry is quite a pleasant person." 

Chris narrowed his eyes but they didn't say anything more and he didn't want to keep asking. Aaron threw him a few glances to make sure he had it under control and then focused on driving.

When they arrived Luna and Shawcross had yet to get there. They'd decided to take separate routes just in case Ramsey and Pattillo had something in mind. Which they probably didn't since it wasn't in their style but they still didn't want to take risks. 

Free put his cuffs back on right as they pulled in to a stop outside the station with a smug, "Michael taught me how to do this." 

Dooley snorted and shook his head at it.

"So this is how it looks on the inside." Dooley commented when they were walked inside. "Huh. I imagined it bigger."

Chris had to agree that their space did seem a bit crammed for a police department. He didn't voice it out. 

Five minutes later the other three were brought in as well and Luna and Shawcross took up the interrogation. Chris resolved to watching from the surveillance room. 

They'd learned the hard way that keeping those guys in the same room during an interrogation wasn't a good idea so they were separated and walked in one by one. 

\------

Upon being asked what they were doing in the property they were caught in everyone had a different story. Dooley stuck with his goldfish theory. 

Chris had thought that the green haired guy would be the easiest to break considering he was new but after his twenty minute lecture about goldfish sacred lands he knew they'd get nowhere with him.

Next was Narvaez. Chris knew that behind the seemingly relaxed and careless attitude there was a brain capable of much more than his looks would give him. He knew exactly how to play his game. 

"I'm not going to ask twice. What were you doing there?"Luna asked and for the second time that day Chris was reminded that Miles wasn't someone to be messed with. 

"Okay. I'll tell you. But... I want protection." Narvaez said, catching everyone off guard. Shawcross nodded at him and Narvaez leaned on his elbows, as if preparing to share a secret. "Years ago when Geoff was new in the city he made a hit. Big one. He was never caught and he ran away with the goods. No one knew where he hid it and he never said a thing until we found ourselves in need. There was no other option so Geoff told us where he buried the goods and sent us to retrieve it."

"What is it? Drugs? Money?" Shawcross asked.  
"No, no. It's something we couldn't go without a day more."

"What?"

"Fifty pounds of high quality chocolate and lollipops." Narvaez said in a stage whisper. "Best production from when he was a kid!"

Chris had known it. There was no way he'd tell them anything but he'd still let himself hope.

Then it was Jones. He still looked pissed about almost dying thanks to Free but he refused to share exactly what had happened. When asked about what their reasons behind trespassing were he frowned. 

"What do you mean?" He asked. 

Luna crossed his hands. "I want to know the reason why you were there."

"Were where?" Jones scowled. "You guys picked me off the street."

Luna leaned forward. "Are you playing dumb with me Michael?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I was at the centre by the monument almost getting killed by the moron Gavin when you pulled over. Are you having memory issues officer Luna?"

The rest of the interrogation went in similar manner until Miles got so riled up he had to dismiss Jones so he wouldn't punch him.

When Haywood got brought in Chris felt that same uneasiness clench his stomach. Something about the face paint the guy seemed to never take off and the way he held himself, looking relaxed but unusually alert, just sent shivers down Chris' spine. 

Upon being asked about the trespassing Haywood stayed silent. He answered none of the questions,simply staring at Shawcross' jacket for all of fifteen minutes. 

"You do know you're not supposed to wash that with hot water, right?" Was the first thing he said. "Just by looking at it I can see you've washed it at a warm temperature and you've got at most two more washes like that before the material crinckles beyond repair. I'd recommend either using cold water, every washing machine has the setting, or dry cleaning. They know what to do with it there. There's one on Palm street that does wonders with clothes. They even wash out blood stains perfectly. Not that I need that."

He resumed his silence after that.

Last was Free. One never knew what to expect from him. When he sat down on the chair he looked uncomfortable, glancing around as if expecting something to pop up and attack him. When Luna drew his attention towards him Free settled on looking nervously at him. It was complete change from his acting just couple of hours earlier. 

"I'm not in trouble am I?" He asked tentatively before any officer had the chance to ask him anything.

"You were brought in for trespassing." Shawcross pointed out and Free swallowed hard. 

"He gets angry when I get into trouble. Makes me do stuff. Hard stuff. Like carry heavy things around and to his car. Or pushing them up hill to his villa." 

"Who is?" Luna asked but Free shook his head.

"I can't tell. He'll get angrier."

Before Luna could ask anything else an officer entered the room and told them someone had bailed them out. Luna swore under his breath but let Free go. The man looking even more nervous.

\-----  
The case was quickly forgotten when every lead they thought they had lead to a dead end. They had been played with completely. 

Chris however couldn't shake the feeling something bigger was happening. But he didn't have any proof or even a lead to follow so he had to sit back and wait for something to happen. 

It did two months later when a big pawn shop was hit. It was a clean job. The cameras had been taken out before any sign of disturbance showed and the alarm system had been disabled with the proper codes instead of being broken. 

No fingerprints, shoe prints or even a hair had been left. No sloppiness whatsoever. There wasn't a clue on how they got in or out. No matter how much they searched no one had an idea who it might have been. 

Then Chris noticed it. What was missing from the place was fifty pounds worth of gold and precious stones. The pawn shop was a block down from a national monument and right across a drycleaning. 

The villa. Chris stood up and dashed out of the station.

Ramsey had a warehouse outside the city's perimeter. Near a place once considered sacred grounds. 

Chris was sure that was were the stolen goods were. They'd told everything away thinking no one would take them seriously. 

\---------

As he parked he felt his heart speed up. All he needed were a picture or two, enough to start an investigation. 

He approached with caution and peeked through a hole on the wall. And sure as hell there it was. A table with all the gold spread out on it. 

"Bingo," he cheered quietly and took his phone out. 

He had barely managed to get a picture or two when he heard the safety of a gun click behind him. 

"You're smarter than we gave you credit for, Demaris." Miles Luna said behind him. "Too bad we can't let you tell anyone."

**Author's Note:**

> What happened to Chris?! Well, I'll leave that to your imagination. 
> 
> Because I love the idea of Lunacross being crooked cops helping the Crew. I'm sorry Chris. 
> 
> Like and comment maybe?


End file.
